Do you think it might be you?

Two students plagiarized. I sat them down and told them what they had done. They told me they understood and thanked me for telling them how to improve their papers. One turned hers in last week, the other I just read.

One was a simple case of omission -- didn't cite a single thing. "But, I didn't quote anything." So, I explained to her that her ideas for her paper were based upon the material that she read, and she needs to give those individuals credit for what she's read. The paper she turned in went from zero cites to four -- so, I marked 'no improvement' and handed it back.

The one I just read, well, in the original, she's got cites EVERYWHERE, but the writing is a simple paraphrasing of the articles, not a single original thought in the paper. So, I explain to her that she does need to cite like she has, but, she has to take the information and put it into her own words.

Today, student number 1 comes to my office and is in a HUFF and says "Obviously, I'm too stupid to write the way you want me to."

"Excuse me?" I'm at this point checking her hands because she's not the most stable of people.

"Well, I didn't realize I had to cite the stuff that I didn't quote. That's all I've ever had to do before."

"Ummmm...okay..."

"So, I must just be stupid."

At this point, our hero is close to saying, "you said it,honey, not me." But, he used his superhuman powers of restraint and held his tongue in check.

After not saying anything for a moment, she continues. "I mean, this just doesn't make sense. When did you tell us that we had to cite like that?"

"Are you serious? Look at the handouts I gave you. Ask the others in class. I said it so many times and so many ways that I thought I was being too repetitive."

"WELL, I guess I just wasn't paying attention."

And the skies opened and the angels started to sing as she says in deepest irony what our hero has known all along.

"And who's fault is that?"

She glares at me.

"Seriously. Is that my fault that I stressed it OVER and OVER in class, and that I TOLD you about this last week when we met?"

She continues to glare at me. I sit back into my chair, cross my legs and tent my fingers.

"Well. Can I rewrite it?"

Again, our hero uses his superhuman ability not to yell 'FUCK, NO!' at this student. He just stares at her for a moment, feigning being deep in thought. He's good at that, don'cha know?

"How will this rewrite be different?"

"Well. I'll do what you want me to."

Let's see. I'm having them use APA format. Correct me if I'm wrong, but every academic style of writing requires some sort of citation. If you want, I'll come up with a source for that. It's not ME that set the standard, that developed the style. I'm the one that is teaching it.

"I have to think about this."

So, after class, I give her this option. "All or nothing; one more chance, pass-fail. No help from me. No help from the writing center. You had chances to do that already."

Her friend is standing there -- her friend that did the paper properly from the beginning. "Don't worry, I'll help you."

"No, you won't. She has to do this on her own. I will consider any outside help as collusion, and collusion is a form of cheating." Turning back to the student. "You need to tell me by tomorrow what your decision will be. If you pass, you get a 70%. If you don't pass, you get a 59%." If she takes the option, she's also going to have to sign an agreement that will state she is not to ask for or accept any help from others.

That's right, I'm going to be a BFB -- Big Fucking Bastard.

The paper I just got done reading -- she went through, changed a few key words, and resubmitted. The thing that's pissing me off about this is that she's treating me like I'm an idiot.

So, I'm not feeling anxious tonight. I'm pissed and I have 8 more papers to grade.